Today I want to share with you some thoughts on the whole topic of giving birth...
...there is a reason for why I am doing this post - I was not able to give birth the way I wanted to and it was not easy for me in the beginning to accept this. In the end I think its all good the way it went and maybe there are women out there who will experience the same as I did (or who already did) and for whom it will be helpful to read my thoughts on this. And since today is mothers day, I thought its a good day to share this story of mine :)
For me it was always very very important to give birth naturally. It was THE MOST important for me. There was nothing I was more afraid of than a c-section! My pregnancy went really well, as some of you know, so there was no reason to believe that I will need a c-section in the end. The baby was healthy, I was healthy and so I was getting all prepared to give natural birth - I took yoga classes to train the body parts I would need during delivery, I drank lots of rasberry leaf tea to prepare the uterus, I learned how to breath during delivery and I tried some meditation. I was all ready.
And then I got to know that my baby did not want to turn its head downwards. It was in breech presentation since week 26 of my pregnancy and around week 34 the doctor told me that I should prepare myself for a possible c-section. I thought "NO WAY!" and I began a marathon to different mid wifes, hospitals and doctors... the midwifes tried to make my baby turn downwards with alternative methods, such as homeopathy and acupuncture, the doctors tried to turn my baby around from the outside and in the hospital I made a MRI scan to check if my basin was wide enough to deliver from breech presentation (it was not). It was stressful and exhausting and nothing helped!
Some days I thought its stupid to make all of these efforts, because if my baby wants to turn, it will and if it does not want to it will not, and I should accept and respect her decision. But I also thought that if I would not try everything I could, I would regret it afterwards and I would reproach myself.
Two weeks before the actual birth of my baby, there was no more doubt about that I would need a c-section - and I was frustrated! But in the end it turned out that this c-section was excatly what my baby wanted and that there was a reason for why it did not turn its head downwards; its umbilical cord was very short so it wasnt able to turn. If I would have tried to give natural birth, terrible things could have happend...I do not even want to think about all of what could have happend! So in the end it turned out that it was just right the way it went and there was a good reason for everything.
This whole story made me realize once again that we should trust in how things goes and that we should just accept things the way they go, instead of trying to make everything work the way WE think is the best.
Today, I am fine with the fact that I got a c-section and my baby is so happy, quiet and wonderful that I feel like she is okay with it too. I wrote about the whole process about how we tried to make her turn around and all the thoughts we had during this time, in her baby-diary (which I write for her since the beginning of pregnancy) so that later, when she is older and she asks why she was not born naturally, she will be able to understand.
How do you think about the whole story of how to give birth? Can you understand that it was difficult for me to accept a c-section or do you think its fine to give birth this way?