Monday, March 9, 2015

About life-plans and why we do not have to find the ONE THING to do

Another post for the About Life column...

Here comes another topic I have been thinking about a lot in the past year or so. Most of you are in my age and most of you graduated one day, standing there with the diploma in your hand and asking yourself: what shall I do now? I have been there and it was difficult for me!

When I got my MA degree in 2013 I felt pretty lost afterwards. It was the first time since the first year of school that there was no clear path in front of me. When I finished school I knew I was going to university, when I finished my undergrad studies, I knew I was going to grad school ... but then? There were suddenly so many options and it seemed to be so important to take the right decison - the decision about what I really wanted to do with my life, what lifestyle I wanted to live, which ideologies I could live and if I wanted to make money or not. 

I always thought that there is this one thing I have to find, this one thing I love which I will pursue to have a happy life. I thought I had to look for the one perfect job to be a happy person. And I became pretty depressed. Why? Because I could not find this one thing I wanted to do, this one job I wanted to have. As much as I thought of it, I just could not come up with it. I tried so many things, I began to work on a dissertation, I worked in two jobs at the same time, I started a voluntary project and went to lots of seminars on how to manage your own projects for a good cause, I took different classes on different topics, I worked voluntary with refugees and gave language classes to people who just arrived in Germany and who were in need of help etc. etc. etc. and I was tired! Believe me, I was so tired because I was looking all the time for the right thing! Whatever I did I asked myself: is this it? Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? And I could not enjoy what I did because I always thought I have to find this ONE THING.

I did not feel good for around a year. I felt depressed because I was telling myself that I have to find this one thing, this one job. I felt depressed because Ive been accusing myself for not being able to take a decision. I felt depressed because I thought I am not able to plan my life the way I am supposed to. I thought I am wasting my time doing all kind of things instead of investing in what I REALLY wanted to do (whatever that was...)

I talked with a lot of people in this period and I read a lot of articles and a few books on the topic. It took a really long time until I realized the one most important thing that made me feel good again: There is no catch-all-answer! There is no ONE THING! There is no NEED to take this ONE DECISION!

And why do I think so? Because our interests are changing during a lifetime, this is just what its like. Today I have different interests than I had three years ago and three years from now, I will have different intersts again. And you know what? Thats great! And there is no reason to feel guilty because of that. Imagine how boring life would be if you would actually do the same thing, 5 days a week, 8 hours a day for 40 years! No way this works for me! It took me long time though to realize this!

This does of course not mean that it cannot work for other people! I am talking about me in this post and I know there are many out there, feeling the same way. I change my interests and since I accepted this fact, I feel so much better! I started an online course in nutrition studies because nutrition is what fascinates me right now. Maybe I am never going to work with nutrition but thats fine because right now, it makes me happy and it makes me feel good. I studied international business communication and maybe I am never going to work in this field because maybe it will not interest me lateron and thats okay. I studied African Studies and maybe I am never going to work in this field either. Maybe I will start breeding guinea pigs next year- who knows? 

Since I realized that my interests change and that this is okay, I am really happy with my life! Like really happy! I just accepted myself the way I am and this feels really good. And, as a sidenote, it turned out that I was always able to make money with what was most important to me at the given moment. 

Since I freed myself from believing that I have to do something that is linked to my studies and that I have to find this one job that is made for me, I feel like I got so much energy for the things I am passionate about right now. I got much more into blogging (can you tell ;)?) and into nutrition (which I love even more!) and I finally allow myself to really enjoy this without restricting myself from it. 

Guys, I dont know if this post makes sense or if you are able to understand my thoughts but I hope you get the idea :D
What I want to say is - do not force yourself to chase this ONE DREAM if there is NO one dream. Do what you are interested in right now without questioning what you did before and what you are going to do afterwards. Free yourself and do what makes you happy!
 
And as I wrote earlier - this is for the people who are like me and who are interested in so many things. Those people out there who have ONE dream, go ahead and pursue it if this is what makes you happy! We are all different and we are all perfect the way we are. Just be sure to do what makes you happy right now and do not restrict yourself in your creativity, your ideas and your emotions! Dont stay in a job because you think you have to, just because you studied the given topic, dont force yourself to do something you liked three years from now but no longer! Do you agree? Or how do you feel about this?

Enjoy and love life dear readers and followers and life will love you back - I promise :) 

14 comments:

  1. Love this!! Growing up is hard enough let alone thinking of what you want to do with your life the second you graduate. I totally agree do what you love and you'll be fine, plus being happy is more important than anything :)

    Florals&Smiles
    Twitter

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  2. This is really positive and I hope you continue to do what you love. I can understand. University was the next step after school etc, it just happened. I felt I didn't have a lot of choice in what I studied, it just seemed like the natural course I would always do, and as a result I have never been very interested in it. Fashion is my interest of course, but I don't think I will ever work in it unfortunately. I still don't know what I want to do, I just stay in my current career because it is what I have and I don't know what else to do, and that really does make me depressed.

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  3. Hi sweet!
    I love your blog and am following.
    I am Brazilian and I invite you to meet my space!
    Big kiss!

    Instagram: tamiya343 and Twitter: @ cat_343

    http://www.makedamotociclista.blogspot.com.br

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  4. I totally agree, tere is no one dream and no one path, we r still changing and growing mentally, I have understood that past year:) Great post, have a lovely day, I hope in Germany there is such a beautiful weather like in Poland now, hugs:)

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  5. Nice post, I agree!
    Have a great day
    xx

    http://losaway.blogspot.com

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  6. Ach, liebe Larissa, das kommt mir so bekannt vor, was Du hier schreibst! Und ich freue mich absolut mit Dir, dass Du letztlich auch Deinen Weg für Dich entdeckt hast. Mir erging es ähnlich wie Dir, ich dachte auch, ich muss doch den Traumjob haben. In dem Zusammenhang war ich nicht nur in vielen Jobs tätig, sondern habe meine psychologische Ausbildung gemacht, ein Buch geschrieben und noch einiges mehr. Letztendlich bin ich jetzt zufrieden mit der Situation so wie sie für mich ist: ich arbeite Vollzeit als Einkäuferin, was mir nicht nur Spaß macht, sondern was ich auch einfach beherrsche, ohne dass ich alle meine Energie für meinen Job aufwenden muss - und damit bleibt mir noch genügend Zeit für meine Hobbies, die mir sehr wichtig sind, und die mich glücklich machen, wie vor allem das Bloggen und auch Sport. Vor allem auch für meine Familie, die ich nicht als Hobby bezeichnen würde, sondern die ich liebe und mit der ich liebend gerne Zeit verbringe :) Wünsche Dir von Herzen, dass es mit Deinen vielseitigen Interessen und Begabungen weiter so gut läuft! Alles Liebe von Rena

    www.dressedwithsoul.com

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  7. Great project :)
    http://retromaggie.blogspot.pt/

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  8. Wonderful post and some excellent advice. Warm greetings from Montreal, Canada. :)

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  9. Great information and tips.
    Love reading your post
    Kisses

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  10. Ganz recht so - es ist ein totales Missverständnis, dass man eine Sache haben muss und die bis zur Rente durchzieht. Zum Glück sind wir von diesen Zeiten weg, und man kann verschiedene Wege ausprobieren ohne als Exot zu gelten...

    -Kati

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  11. Thanks for sharing this post, and very well said! I think what your describing is something EVERY person goes to when they are finished schooling and trying to decide what to do next, at least to some degree. I know I did. Even though I found a job that I like, and it is a good fir for now, I still have feelings of wondering if what I am doing is right, just because there are so many options. But you're right- what you're doing IS right. There's no point in stressing ourselves out about that. I am glad you hear you are feeling confident and happy about that, it is a huge relief, and wonderful to find motivation again.

    ♥ perfectly Priya

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